Big fat heaps of writing tips

If someone asks for a perfect short fairy tale I've just got to sit them down for four minutes to read The Chaser by John Collier. In just over 1000 words, The Chaser tells the story of a lovesick young dweeb hunting for magic means to win the poor unfortunate object of his obsessions. He'll get what he deserves, oh yes, but only at the tragic expense inflicted on what he claims to love. The Chaser has that wonderful, punchy anecdotal quality that makes it immediately engaging - the style of fairy tale yarn is so deceptively simple that it could be appear in your kid sister's bedtime stories.  But The Chaser, for me, also tells a vast human truth in its very few words. It's about love and how we fool ourselves, how our emotions get the better of us.  Comedy and pathos, the contrast of wise age and callow youth... cruelty disguised as philanthropy or love. It's worth the four minute read just for these clever contrasts. It makes you think beyond the read though. One ...

Have you heard that phrase "Make em laugh, make em cry make them wait"?  I've looked it up and there's a few different people are supposed to have said it first. Most convincingly Charles Reade  as quoted in: The Chautauquan , Volume 36,  p. 161,  in 1903),  - hey, scholarship for literature students. I'm feeling smug! Let's think what it means though. What it really means.  Your writing is trying to generate an emotion. If the words you've got down aren't generating an emotion - or preparing for it - then they're not doing the right job. Look at the blurbs for the really successful books - even more for films. They promise that you'll get a massive overload of feeling. You'll laugh until your stomach aches. You'll cry buckets. You'll be too frightened to turn off the lights to sleep.  Even books that claim to be more 'intellectual' are prodding at emotions - you'll feel proud to have understood this tangled and tricky b...